Friday 7 March 2014

Google lies – how you can’t trust Google Maps to really tell you when you’ll get where you’re going



            When we first arrived we used Google Maps to gauge everything because in a new place you never know how long it’s going to take to get where you’re going. As a person who likes to be punctual (ok, even a bit early is always good for me), this was very important. Within the first week I learned a very important lesson… GOOGLE LIES. Now they don’t mean to lie, but no matter what the time says unless it is Highway (motorway) the whole way, there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell we’re going to make it there in the time google says.

            As I mentioned in my previous post about the Ring of Beara, sometimes this time estimation can be grossly off by a number of hours. So why does this happen? Well, for one as new people over here we tend to drive a bit slower than the locals. So even though the speed limit is 80 kph (~53 mph), we’ll probably go closer to 65 kph (40 mph), and you will too. This is often due to the fact that narrow roads tend to make people drive either a bit slower or faster depending on whether you’re of the school of slow and cautious or Dear God, get me off of this road as soon as possible MUST! DRIVER! FASTER!!! I tend to be the latter and Matt is usually the former, so it always makes for interesting driving. Also under the school of “Dear God, get me off this road as soon as possible,” is the age old, “Holy hell there is a car coming I’ll just stop, close my eyes and wait for it to pass!” So I guess if you average my speed I probably go at about the same rate as Matt. Mine is just filled with terrifying speed and terrified halts.  As I’ve gotten more used to driving I don’t do this as much anymore, I just slow WAY down when another car is coming because if we’re going to collide or clip each other, I’d rather it be at a slow speed. I’m just practical that way. 
AAAACCCCKKKKK!!!! Tiny road! Tiny road!!!

            The other reason Google Maps gives unrealistic expectations of time is that it is based on speed limits. Roads that you and I would not in a million years drive at 50 mph are posted as such. These are roads with sharp turns, gravel, and car swallowing pot holes you must artfully dodge while maintaining speed. Not a chance! This has been recognized by the Irish themselves and I believe there is an initiative to change the speed limits on these type of roads. But by and large you will not go as fast as the posted speed limits here until you’ve lived in the country for more than 6 months.
Look at that lovely rainbow, oh and that tiny road. Wait.. I'm supposed to go 80kph on this?!?!

            As part of my Friends and Family visiting guide I’ve listed how far various attractions are from our house. Even though I used Google Maps for these estimations I clearly state at the front, please multiply the driving time by 1.5-2 depending on how off the beaten path the journey is.
2 hours? Not too bad. So that means it should only take an hour to get around the ring, right??? NO

One of the widest roads on the ring
Normal sized road. Notice no center line, that's because you just drive in the middle until you meet another car...
            The other option is your trusty GPS, aka the Sat Nav. If you’re like us, you’ve gone on a number of “Garmin adventures” in the US. It is no different here. While trying to find a local pub where the hunt was kicking off, we ended up at someone’s farm. It has given me the directions, “Go off road.” DO NOT DO THIS. GARMIN IS LYING! More on this in a bit. Google Maps will often lead you to the right place but it will take much longer, Garmin on the other hand may take you to your destination, or it may take you out into the middle of nowhere and say TADA! You’re here! 
So please take this into account when visiting. 

Contrary to the picture, the road actually did go on... SURPRISE!!
Your best bet is to find a town close to where you want to go and ask the GPS to take you there. Once in the town you will most likely find signs to point you in the direction of your desired attraction. If not, ask a local and they’re often happy to help. You may need to ask more than one on these trips. I’ve found that if I ask between 2 and 3 locals I usually find my way. Now this doesn’t mean ask 2-3 people in the same place, no you have to follow person number 1’s directions until you’re lost again and then the 2nd or 3rd person will steer you right. Part of this could also be because of me not fully understanding some of the accents. Each county and sometimes each town may have a slightly different accent. They’re all Irish accents, but west cork has one of the hardest to understand in my opinion so often there is a lot of smiling and nodding going on and not a lot of understanding.  It’s like if you were to travel far into Cajun country in the US. Are they speaking your language? I think so… Can you understand anything? Not a chance.  None the less they are all delightful and trying to be helpful. With Google Maps, you have a smaller chance of this happening, but with GPS, God help you. 
Another tip, be mindful of the road signs, if it looks like a 90 degree turn, it probably is. If it looks like multiple curves, watch out!
Wait, you want me to make a 90 degree left turn and do something that looks like a snake?!?!? Oh geez!

Just a word to the wise, if your GPS tells you to “Go Off Road.” Don’t do it! This isn’t just an Ireland thing with Garmin GPS. I was on the USDA farm trying to find the building where Matt was working and I ended up on a back road which led to the pig facility. Once I got there I was supposed to “Go Off Road” and cross the pasture up to the building.  Instead I went back to the main road and took the driveway up once I knew which building was his. Usually if you follow these sorts of directions you’ll get stuck or tear up someone’s property which is unacceptable no matter what country you’re in.  Instead ignore the GPS and make it back to a main road where perhaps a local will be able to guide you on your way. If you have reception and a plan that won’t charge you an arm and a leg for data you could always use Google maps on your phone to get you the last bit of where you’re going. 
Another issue are the number of pot holes! The Irish have joked that they don't drive on the Left of the road, they drive on WHAT'S left of the road. Boy! Are they not kidding! Pretty sure I saw koi fish in a few of these!

What Garmin says

Yes, that drop off on the right is where I'm supposed to go. Holy crap they weren't kidding!
Speaking of going onto someone’s property…Over all the Irish are very kind about strangers wanting to visit random ruins on their property. To us these may be the oldest ruined structures we’ve ever seen, to them it’s their backyard so be mindful and respectful. If there is a sign requesting you keep out, do it! If there isn’t a sign, be respectful of the property and mindful if they have livestock in the area. It is not uncommon to see cows, horses, or sheep wandering around these sites. This is their grazing land and just happens to have a ruined structure from the 1300’s in the middle of it!
 
They look pretty, but most of them just wanted to be left alone.
 Most of these animals will not want to be pet, or snuggled. Trust me. And in trying to do so, you may cause them undue stress, so if they’re curious they will approach you and you can pet them, otherwise leave them in peace. Also be aware they are animals and can kick and bite. If you get kicked or bitten it is your own fault for intruding into their home so unless you know what you’re doing don’t even approach them.  Sadly I didn’t follow my own advice on our honeymoon and managed to get bit by a Border Collie when a farmer was checking his sheep. The farmer was terribly apologetic, but it was my own fault for sticking my hand down there, even if the dog was smiling and wagging his tail… As the farmer apologized he mentioned the dog was a bit daft in the head, which is why he looked friendly but bit me. 
May look happy, but could bite, so ask before you pet! These may be working dogs and not socialized like a normal house pet
So the moral of this post is, Google Maps lies, GPS may get you stuck in a field, be respectful of other’s property, and don’t trust daft dogs.

Tuesday 4 March 2014

Pancake Tuesday

This will be a short one, but wanted to share a local custom with everyone.

In the US we celebrate Fat Tuesday, or Mardi Gras right before Ash Wednesday at the beginning of Lent as an excuse to be serious gluttons and drunkards, though you may only partake in one or both depending on your age, job, and marital status. In Ireland they celebrate Pancake Tuesday, or Shrove Tuesday. According to Wiki (the source of all knowledge), the expression "Shrove Tuesday" comes from the word shrive, meaning "confess". Now I'm not sure what anyone was confessing about other than their love of Pancakes and how awesome our work is that they provided pancakes for us on this magical day! Why do they celebrate with Pancakes?? Let's go to Wiki again:
"Pancakes are associated with the day preceding Lent because they were a way to use up rich foods such as eggs, milk, and sugar, before the fasting season of the 40 days of Lent. The liturgical fasting emphasized eating plainer food and refraining from food that would give pleasure: in many cultures, this means no meat, dairy products, or eggs."
Well other than the meat part, that about covers it with pancakes!

What is interesting is that pancakes here are not the same as pancakes in the US. In the US you get stacks of fluffy golden pancakes that are smothered in butter and maple syrup. Or if you're lucky enough to be at an IHOP can be covered in Butter Pecan, Strawberry, Blueberry, or "other" berry syrup. OM NOM NOM!

Mmmmmm American Pancakes! Look how light and fluffy they are!
In Ireland pancakes are more like a crepe. Thin and rolled up very much so like a crepe without filling and more like a tortilla, these pancakes looked a bit dubious to me.
Hmmmmm. Not so sure...
But then I was told something I found even more puzzling but also very tempting. Here you squeeze lemon juice on your pancakes and then sprinkle sugar over the top of them.
Well, this could be interesting...
It was delicious!!! Sour, sweet, and a bit rubbery from the crepe consistency, it was fantastic! I know people don't normally associate a rubbery texture with delight, but it was like most other crepe type pancakes where it isn't fluffy like our pancake, but not tough like a tortilla.

I was also informed that many Irish fill the pancakes with nutella (a true weakness of mine!), and sometimes top it with bananas! I'd personally go sans bananas, but whatever floats your boat! They may also cover it with Golden Syrup which I'm guessing is a bit like our Karo Syrup, but not sure.
Oh Nutella how I love you, though I could do without the bananas

So this is what they do on the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday instead of throwing a giant carnival of drunken debauchery. I kind of like it.

Happy Pancake Tuesday all!